Reflections of a Man's Heart

This comes from a blog I happened to share with my ex-girlfriend...

And, those words I wrote for her, but not just because she was the one who would be listening...

I feel they deserve being expressed openly

1. Love must be expressed.

I mean explicitly expressed.

Expression need not words. Expression can be buying candy to her, even if you are fifty. Not even, but *especially*...

And, use your hands. Words are not enough. Take her hands, comb her hair...

2. Love must be expressed partly with your vocabulary. Because this means that you are present.

And it must be expressed partly with the other's vocabulary. Because this means that she is present in your mind/heart/soul.

And, by "other's vocabulary" I mean: if she loves flowers, and you think it is not needed to express it that way (as many of us men believe)...go buy her flowers. Love is about listening...

Believe me, if you can express it with her/his vocabulary, you've being listening. that is tough, and a good proof of love rather than necessity being present...

Let me repeat that: Love is about listening, not just hearing. Listening. No listening, no love. Really.

3. Freely expressing love engenders more love.

4. Be yourself: be authentic.

Especially, do not adapt your message to promote yourself.

5. Let the other be her/himself, to be authentic.

Especially, do not demand self-promotion to your mate, among other things.

6. Nobody is perfect. Understand that. Then, strive for perfection anyway.

Yes. You can't be perfect, but you must act as if you didn't knew that. Then, after a long day, you just go to sleep not feeling bad for not being perfect. Do not tell that is not logical.

You already knew this is not to be logical blog if you arrived here...

Your mate happens to be human, too, so this is a two-way street.

7. Amazingly, loving yourself makes other love you more -and themselves. Therefore, love yourself.

Loving others means loving yourself. If you don't love yourself, you won't be able to love others. Really.

8. Love is work. Give yourself the time needed to nurture love.

Share some time with the person you love, nurture her.

Don't you work 8 hours a day (or more!) even when you don't feel like it?

Yes, working is urgent...but loving is necessary. Big difference ^^.

Let's say this more clearly: love *is* work, or that is not love.

9. When you are about to fight, when you can't clearly talk about your needs, when... take her hands and look upon her eyes.

You will discover it is impossible to fight or lie while holding her hands ^^

Believe me, words are not that important. Hands always say the truth...

I am sad we men don't know how important that is. For us too!

10. Understand that being two separate persons, with different needs and wants, is not something to be afraid of.

On the contrary, it is an amazing opportunity to grow much more, for now you can learn and love so many new things...

How lucky to be able to see things so differently through her eyes. Like having four hands or eyes to aprehend the world ^^

11. Give yourselves permission to disagree.

Love is not about always agreeing, but about always listening and caring. That will naturally make you agree in most things, so don't worry.

12. Never, ever make being in love be worse than not being in love.

I know that is not easy, but if you accomplish that, love will be self-sustaining.

13. This merits being repeated: love must be clearly expressed.

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